You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
