Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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