I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
