Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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