I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i drank out of a bidet.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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