So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
