how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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