I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
