So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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