he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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