Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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