i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
