I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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