oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
