You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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