I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
