I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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