Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
