You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
