mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
