It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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