its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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