We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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