In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
