Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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