omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
