Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
