I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
