I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
