He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
