Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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