Where did you get a picture of my penis
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
