I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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