My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize