yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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