I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the day after is always just damage control
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
