i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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