Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
