I think im going to throw up on grandma
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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