All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize