Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
