Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
sex in a hospital.. check
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize