She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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