he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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