I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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