I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize