marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
