my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
