so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
