pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
