my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize