Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
