I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so let's talk penis.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
