do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
