If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
