We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize