nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
