five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
