You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
