My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we're so committed to being not committed
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