Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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