remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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